Monday, October 3, 2011
I Am Often Too Famous To Update My Blog
I had a bit of a delay in writing some more. I was busy hanging out with other celebrities. We celebrities get together every once in a while, relax away from the public, show photographs of our families, and select who will be the next Presidents of the United States and Russia. (Hint: stick with Putin, less so on Newt Gingrich.) I ran into my Penny Marshall who I hope will be directing some more movies soon. She complained that people want her to direct digital characters and vampires, and she wants to direct people. I told her that there could be a movie about futuristic female baseball teams where one team of digital players goes up against a team of vampires. Marshall didn’t speak to me for the rest of the weekend. I saw Henry Winkler. I have always appreciated his work on dyslexia, of which I believe I may suffer some form (unless it really is a form of autism, as mentioned earlier, although most of my friends tell me it is that I am just too stupid for my own good). I got a copy of his latest book and he signed it “you’re the best”. I felt good until I realized he signed all the other copies “you’re even better than Leon”. Richard Kiel told me how he began working in funeral plot sales. It really was his first acting job, as they gave him a script to work from and his performances were judged in sales figures. I understand how Richard then began such a successful actor. I bought two funeral plots for myself, so I guess I’ll have to be buried in halves. That makes sense, as I’ve lived most of my life as half a person anyway. I went to the Chicago opening of Magnolia Bakery. Magnolia Bakery is known in New York City for their long lines. I was shocked to find a long line at their Chicago show. How do people know to create lines? Is there a line advisory that goes on to people who like to stand in line telling them when and where to stand in line. If the people of Chicago have never tried Magnolia Bakery, why did the people of Chicago wait for something they’ve never had? Wouldn’t it be better to send someone first, get a review, and then decide if it is fine for the rest of a group to stand in line? What motivates this groupthink behavior? Seriously, if hordes of people start reading my works, what was it that got that starting to read my work? How may my works become the Magnolia Bakery of writing? What do I have to offer other than the wisdom I have gained from being an important celebrity? I have to run. There are nine female vampires at my door. Fortunately, they are carrying baseball gloves, bats, and balls. On our way to the ballpark, we are planning to join the Occupy Wall Street protest. This is something I can totally get into. If I may occupy Wall Street, I want to take the nicest office I can find. I wonder how this system works. Is this how companies handle staff turn overs?